'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flat,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a rat.
The stockings were hung by the fireplace burning,
In hope that Saint Nick would once more be returning.
The lights were turned out and the curtains were shut
And the cookies placed, the milk poured into cups,
One for ol' Nick and one for his deer,
Then I hopped into bed to wish the day near.
Then all of sudden, an almighty clatter!
I leapt from my bed to see what was the matter,
I raced down the landing, my heart in my mouth
And into the lounge to see what was lurking about.
Then I saw, oh I saw, what one can never unsee:
Oh but a man, a man! tumble down the chimney!
I gasped in surprise, shocked at what I saw,
Then it hit me: could it be, was this Father Claus?
I had heard stories and songs and odd teasing rumours
About what he was like and the mince pies that he worked for.
However this fellow who was covered in soot,
Resembled not at all like that big-bellied brute.
He was lanky and tall with a blue pin-striped suit
And he wore strange white plimsolls, one on each foot.
He coughed and he spluttered and wiped ash from his eyes.
"What are you doing here?" I exclaimed and I cried.
"I'm sorry," said he, still looking farfetched
"For making a mess of your lovely carpet
And not to mention the chimney and the bish-bashed tree
I'm the Doctor by the way, and I'd love a cup of tea."
He waved around a funny blue torch
While my knees were a-knocking under my shorts.
I stared and I gawked and I felt like a fool.
Despite the odd name, he was rather cool.
"What are you doing?" I asked, attention turned on
"You bring no gifts or a car so where are you from?"
"From the sky," he replied and then whispered to me:
"I'm one of Santa's helpers. An elf, yes, that's what I'll be.
But don't go round spreadin', keep it sealed shut
'Cause you're on the Nice List but I can soon take you off."
I nodded and grinned and locked my lips tight
My pulse still racing from the events of this night.
"I left my sleigh here; it's shaped like a box,
Have you seen her?" asked Doc. "it would help a lot."
In an instant I began to search high and search low;
If he didn't have his sleigh he couldn't get to the Pole,
And then how would Christmas ever go on
If the kids don't have presents on that special morn?
I ripped past the presents and looked in the cupboards
I checked in the fridge and under the flowers
Inside the oven and under the bed
Nothing, oh nothing, my heart sank with dread.
The Doctor just sighed and sipped at Earl Grey
Adding some sugar then started to say:
"I should have got it a collar or a mobile phone
Then I could call it and jog on back home.
I like Earth, it's very nice;
But I've got things to do before the end of this night."
He looked very sad, and looked very old
And I wondered how long he'd spent out in the cold.
I felt like I'd failed, and wanted to cry,
And as I gazed out the window, what did I spy?
A box, a box, all painted blue!
"Doctor!" I cried. "That must belong to you!"
His face did sparkled and his eyes twinkled bright
His grin as big as a hot summer night.
He clapped his hands and whooped with great joy
And danced round the room like a giddy school boy,
"Perfect, it's brilliant! That's my pretty girl!
Oh I knew I'd left it somewhere; oh my memory's not brill.
Come, my friend, come take my hand!"
And so I grasped it and out the door we ran.
Out in the cold, the street was pure white
And the box glowed blue in the dull moonlight.
The Doctor was so happy, and he hugged the old wood
And whispered to it about how 'sexy' it looked.
I shivered and shuddered, wearing only my pygmies
Wondering how many were sleeping when I should really be.
The Doctor opened the door and stepped inside
And as did I, my eyes opened wide.
It was bigger! So much bigger! On the inside!
Walls and pipes and a mighty control panel
A swimming pool, a coat rack and a TV with a trillion channels!
I gasped and I 'woah'ed, my mind near combust
I stared at this stranger and gave him my trust.
He laughed and he giggled, as though there was a joke
And just smiled a smiled that fixed everything broke.
His eyes were happy, sad, full of desire,
He was the ice, he was the fire.
This incredible man, who was this? Oh who?
Who'd toppled from the roof and damaged his suit?
He closed the door and my daydream was gone
Then he extended a hand and said: "Come along.
I've got a lot to show before this night is done
We've got gifts to deliver, every single one."